Back and better than ever

So after a bit of a hiatus (when work got crazy and those 10 minutes I used to spend on blogging after the kiddo was in bed got spent working more...) I'm back to my keyboard and finding comfort in the ability to post again!

I'm currently not working as I'm on maternity leave, though the days seem to disappear even faster now, especially since I spend about 3-4 cumulative hours of the day sitting on the couch feeding my darling new baby girl!

Baby girl will be 8 weeks old tomorrow, baby boy is 5 years old already! We've finally gotten into our groove where I wake up around 6 or 7 and feed the baby, then get the big boy breakfast and make his lunch and make sure he's dressed, teeth brushed, etc. (if he's not already) while hubby showers. Hubby takes him to school and I spend the next hour or two (while baby girl naps) getting laundry going and cleaning the insane disaster that somehow occurs between the time the hubby and boy get home from work/school and when they leave the next morning. Seriously. How does that happen??? Its like the Tasmanian devil whirls through this place!

So here's my concern: 4 weeks from now I will be going back to work and won't have that 2 hours each morning to get it done. I don't want to do it at night because that's when I have to make dinner, spend time with the kids, give baths, get them into bed, then actually spend an hour with my husband watching some TV show we've had recorded for weeks.

Yes, I know the 5 year old can start helping with things like cleaning and laundry, but I need your advice! If you're a working mom of 2 or more kids - how do you get the home stuff done??

Time has flown by!

The last time I posted to this blog my daughter was 4-years-old.  She's now 5, will be 6 in March and I have another daughter due on January 6, 2013.  Oh, time has flown by.

However, I'm still a 2-hour Mom, and with kindergarten starting next week (Jesus, help me) I feel like I'll be the 1.5-hour Mom...or less.

I'm looking forward to kindergarten because she's going to learn so much and really blossom.  But I know I'm going to struggle with the schedule of Daisy troop meetings, dance and gymnastics classes and religious education classes.

I'm supposed to figure it all out, and I'm sure I will...eventually.  I'm glad to be back on the "blogger scene".  More to come and any advice is welcome!

Pay Attention

I constantly find myself telling my four year old to pay attention. Stop fooling around. Don’t look at the TV. Put that down and PAY ATTENTION. 

But I’m not a very good example. When he talks to me (and he talks A LOT), I’m working on the computer, playing on my phone, reading the paper, reading a magazine, looking at the TV, cooking dinner, cleaning up, or doing laundry. So asking him to pay attention to me is one of those “do as I say, not as I do” scenarios.

It’s important that I do pay attention at the key moments, like every once in a while one of those “Mom, look at this” requests is actually for something worthwhile and cool. Like the abstract horse he made out LEGOs. Or the hat he made out of tinker toys. Of course, like the boy who cried wolf, only 2 out of about 500 of the hollers actually are something important.

I truly don’t want to miss the amazing things that he does. I also don’t really want to miss the mundane things he does. But none of us can give 100% attention to 100% of things all the time. And no, I really don't need to see what Spongebob just did.

But I guess when I tell him to pay attention, I need to be mindful of what I’m doing when he says it to me... and I should probably cut him a little slack.

Teachable moments

I went to Chuck E. Cheese for the first time today since I was like 10. It was insane. It was noisy. The kids were inconsiderate. The parents were worse. I was overwhelmed, frustrated and at the point of just wanting to give my kids tickets to someone and get the heck out of there. So while standing in like for the prize redemption, I was talking to another mom and complaining about all the big kids getting in front of my kid. I said, I don't know when to let him fend for himself or step in. And I said, "Like this girl. Standing with her mom and she just let her go in front of him. Isn't it the parents' job to teach their kids?"

The mom turned around and RIPPED in to me! She said, "You know, you could just point it out, or say excuse me, or ask remind me that your child was here. Talking about me right behind my back is an ineffective way to get your point across. You could use this as a teachable moment and explain to your child what to do."

Score one for the good mom. Shame on me. She was dead on and I told her so.

I said, "That's fair. You're right. I'm just overwhelmed with this place and watching parents let their kids trample other kids. You're right. It's my first time in and I shouldn't have let that get to me."
Her: "Your FIRST time here?"
Me: "Yes."
Her: "Oh. I get that. We all just want to get our prizes and get out of here."

So message to parents, and learning for me: Next time, I'll try saying, "Excuse me, I was ahead of you. Do you mind if we go in order?"

And we should remember that none of us parents REALLY want to be in that godforsaken place. We do it for the kids. We should keep our cool, teach our kids manners, and try harder to get along.

That was my teachable moment for the day. but it was me getting taught.

Sharing knowledge

Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
  - Dalai Lama XIV

A friend recently posted this link to Facebook and as a mother of an awesome, amazing, frustrating, fantastic little boy, I felt compelled to share:

25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

When do you coddle and when do you demand?

My latest dilemma with my 4-year-old kiddo is the attitude. When do I tell him what to do and deal with the tantrum, and when do I do the playful fun mommy thing and get him to laugh and giggle so that he stops being a pain?

I don't want him to think that acting rudely and my reacting humorously is acceptable all the time, but I also don't want to be the direct, domineering, and absolute dictator all the time, either.

I suppose the answer is to play it by ear and let the situation unfold as is best for my needs (as in when I'm in a hurry, which one will get my my desired result faster?)...

What do you do?

The $300 birthday party

The $300 birthday party. Maybe $200, if you’re lucky, but by my calculations $300 is the norm for your child’s birthday nowadays. You are expected to put together an entertainment package for 8 to 15 children in your child’s class, feed them, and talk to a bunch of parents you really don’t know, while judging them for the things they let their child get away with.

Last year, I knew more of the kids and parents in my kid’s daycare class, so the $300inflatable place’s birthday party package was acceptable.  This year, I really don’t know many of the kids, and even fewer parents. Why do I have to entertain their kids one afternoon while my kid really only plays with one or two of them?

So I decided to take my kid and his best friend to Build-a-Bear and let them pick any animal they want and up to two outfits. By the time it’s done, I figure I’ll spend $100 on the bears (or whatever they decide to make), and then we’ll go to dinner so there’s another $100. But my kid gets to spend time with his really good friend and they both get lasting keepsake memories.

Good plan. But I have mom guilt. Am I doing it because I’m too lazy to do invitations and find out the names of all the kids in his class? Am I doing it because I ran out of time and never got around to actually calling a party place to book it? Am I doing it because I’m selfish and don’t want to talk to a bunch of random people I don’t know for 3 hours? Or am I doing it because I think my kid will actually enjoy this plan?

Mom guilt sucks.

Update: I held the birthday party with his best friend and they build creatures at the Build-a-bear store. They then picked out a giant slice of cookie cake at the mall. They had the BEST time. We followed it up with playground play and dinner at Chick-Fil-A. He had a great time and loved his birthday party!!

Happy mom again.